


Of Thieves and Wizards

by ObsidiansChild



Series: The Reformation of Eliot Waugh [2]
Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Birthday Fluff, F/F, F/M, I couldn't stop myself, I just really love D&D guys, M/M, they're nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24456112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidiansChild/pseuds/ObsidiansChild
Summary: Eliot has a surprise for Quentin's birthday.
Relationships: Kady Orloff-Diaz/Julia Wicker, Margo Hanson/Alice Quinn/Original Male Character, Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Series: The Reformation of Eliot Waugh [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719526
Comments: 6
Kudos: 100





	Of Thieves and Wizards

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place roughly two months after the end of the The Reformation of Eliot Waugh. I wouldn't really advise reading it as a stand-alone, as there is an original character. 
> 
> Also, this story is just plain silly. Most of the follow-ups won't be, but after the serious subject matter of the original, I just felt like doing something fun. It's very short, and there's very little plot, but I promise that will change with the next installment.

_ Quentin _

“So, have you had a good birthday?” Eliot asked as they walked towards the back of the bookstore in Montclair, ready to portal back to Brakebills for the evening. 

“Are you kidding?” he laughed.

Eliot had gone above and beyond for Quentin since he’d first stepped downstairs that morning to find a dozen blood-red roses and french toast with fresh strawberries waiting for him. After eating, Eliot had waited for him to dress for the day before ushering him through a portal that had opened to lush, rolling fields of grass, occasionally broken by structures made of stone that looked ancient. When he’d asked where they were, Eliot had only smiled secretively and taken his hand to lead him down a gravel drive.

It had turned out to be Christopher Plover’s estate. 

They’d gone on the full tour, and though Eliot had kept his lips pressed together to hold in his laughter over Quentin’s enthusiasm the entire time, he hadn’t once made fun of him, not even when he’d corrected the tour guide. Which had happened more than once. Historical accuracy was  _ important.  _

After that, they’d walked to the nearby village and enjoyed venison burgers and locally crafted gin at a historic pub with a surprisingly romantic atmosphere. 

Then, Eliot had portaled him home to visit his father for the afternoon, who had laughed over Quentin’s excited babbling about his trip to England, embracing Eliot in thanks for the gift, which had made Eliot blush darkly. 

“I’ve had the  _ best  _ day,” Quentin promised sincerely before giving his boyfriend a very suggestive once over. “I’m more than willing to put out to show my appreciation.”

Eliot gave him a saucy grin but corrected himself with an arched brow. “That will have to wait, unfortunately. There’s one more thing.”

Quentin let Eliot tug him through the portal, which opened near the stairs of the common room. He was confused as he looked around the dining room table; Margo, Julia, Joey, Alice, Kady, Todd, and Josh Hoberman were all seated around it. It was true they’d all stayed for the summer, except Todd only came around once a week to run errands for the dean, and Josh had graduated. “Um. Hey?”

Margo rolled her eyes. “It’s about time,” she groused, holding out a sheet of paper towards Eliot. “I already made yours and Q’s. Don’t bitch.”

“I trust you,” Eliot replied, stepping away from Quentin to take the sheet, his eyes moving over whatever was printed there. “Oh, Bambi, I  _ approve.” _

“Of course you do. Sit down, Q.”

Quentin’s brow furrowed as he studied the table between all of his friends, an unbelievable realization dawning on him. There were  _ dice  _ on the table. Character sheets. A folded screen.

“Are we fucking playing D&D?”

Margo shot him an annoyed look, but it didn’t quite erase the affection in her eyes. “You’re slow today, how many birthday blowjobs have you had?”

“I  _ knew  _ I forgot something,” Eliot deadpanned before smiling at Quentin. “Sit down, Q. Let us begin.”

Quentin could hardly hide his excitement as he rushed to take the last open seat at the table and Margo passed him a character sheet. He looked it over, deciding it would do. 

“Okay!” Josh stood from his seat at the end of the table. “I will be your gracious DM this evening. This will be a one-shot, and I will tell you now, the plot is horrific. Because I know the majority of you will not follow a single rule and will all most likely kill each other, rendering any creativity on my part worthless. We drink, and we play until we can’t see straight. Or you somehow manage to live long enough to see the final battle. Sound good?”

“Fuck yeah!” Julia crowed, holding up her beer in salute. 

“Okay, let’s do a quick introduction session so we all know what we’re getting into.” He looked to his left. “Kady?”

“Um. Okay.” She looked almost shy as she looked at her character sheet. “I will be Asmodeus, a tiefling sorcerer.” She looked towards Julia. “Did I say that right?” Julia nodded, smirking. 

Julia straightened in her seat. “I’m Halivar, a dragonborn Paladin.” 

Margo was next. “I’m Thorin, a dwarf barbarian. And a dude.”

“Thorin, Margo?” Eliot questioned her in a dry tone, rolling his eyes.

“Shut it, he’s hot as fuck. Your turn.”

Eliot tilted his head with a smirk. “I’ll be playing Vesper, a high elf rogue.”

Quentin was next. “Um. Makepeace, apparently. Thanks, Margo. A gnome wizard.” He looked to Josh. “We’re starting at level five?”

Josh shrugged. “Seemed more fun that way. Alice?”

Alice’s shoulders lifted towards her ears. “My name will be Nightshade, and I’m a halfling cleric.”

Joey leaned back in his chair. “Waylon. Human bard.”

Eliot shot Quentin a murderous look which made him flinch back from the table. “I didn’t  _ tell  _ him, he overheard us fucking around in the kitchen the other day,” he rushed to defend himself.

Eliot’s glare remained on him for a long moment before sliding over to Joey. “I kill you first.”

“Bring it, Waylon. Your go, Todd.”

“Oh, um. I’m a half-elf ranger named Wilhorn. Specifically an archer.”

“Todd, did you not get over your Legolas kink? It takes time, but I’m here for you,” Eliot said sympathetically. Todd only smiled shyly in response. 

“Okay, so let me set the scene,” Josh began, and the game started.

*

“So, that’s your fifth round in the tavern. Constitution saving throws all around.”

Dice clattered all over the table. 

*

“I’m going up on the stage. I’m not that drunk, right?”

“You’re alright,” Josh told Joey.

“Awesome.” Grinning, Joey belted out the first few lines of “Red, Red Wine” through the common room, and Margo fell forward laughing.

*

“You all head up to your rooms for the night. Anyone have any plans before bed?” 

“I want to steal Margo’s axes,” Eliot said. “I’ll wait until I think she’s asleep.”

“Are you sure? You’re incredibly drunk.”

“She-- _ he-- _ keeps acting like they’re precious and  _ I’m _ a thief. So, yes.”

Josh shook his head. “Okay, man. Roll to sneak, with disadvantage.”

“That’s two, right?”

“Yeah.”

Eliot rolled the dice, his lips pursing. “Fourteen?”

“Margo, roll for perception. Also with disadvantage.”

“Why the fuck for?”

“Because you’re  _ asleep.” _

“Fuck. Fine.” She tossed her dice across the table, pumping her first. “I got an eighteen!”

“Okay, Thorin. You wake to find Vesper trying to make off with your Sorrows. What do you do?” Josh asked.

“I beat the holy fuck out of him!”

“Roll to attack, then.”

“Twenty!”

“Well, shit,” Eliot complained.

“So, that will be double damage.”

*

“Can I cast Hold Person?” Quentin asked. 

“My brave knight,” Eliot sighed.

“Yeah, you can run in. I assume everyone’s heard this going down by now.”

“Fuck yeah, they have,” Margo informed him. “I’ve got that whole battle cry thing on lock.”

“Okay, I’m casting it at second level. You need to beat a thirteen wisdom saving throw.”

Margo rolled her die, wrinkling her nose. “I got a four.”

“So, you’re paralyzed,” Josh informed her. “You can try to break it on your next turn, if that comes around.”

“I, um, can I heal him?” Alice asked. “I have a spell for that.”

“Sure can,” Josh told her. “What are you casting?”

“I guess Cure Wounds?” She looked over one of the many handbooks Josh had provided them with. Looking over her assorted dice, she chose the correct one and rolled it. “I got a seven.”

“Eliot, you have regained seven hit points.”

Eliot scratched his new number onto his sheet. “Many thanks.”

*

“I would suggest everyone lock their doors tonight,” Julia spoke in a haughty tone. “Now that we know there’s a thief among us.”

“You should always lock your doors, Hoolia,” Eliot replied.

“It’s  _ Halivar.” _

“Mmm.”

*

“Can I try to lockpick the shackles off?” Eliot asked. 

“You can. Roll for it.”

The die clattered across the table, and Eliot smirked. “Twenty-two.”

“So, you successfully unshackle yourself. What now?” 

“I’m going to go investigate.”

“Um, Vesper, are you going to free the rest of us?” Quentin asked.

Eliot gave him a filthy look. “Let Daddy have a looksee first.”

*

“I’m following Makepeace.”

“Okay, but that leaves Wilhorn and Waylon alone to investigate the hold.”

Eliot shrugged. “I wanna look at his ass, though.”

“Jesus, El.”

“What? He’s also kind of a shitty wizard. Who will protect him?”

“I’m not shitty, my dice are.”

“Can Waylon see him walk off?”

“Sure, unless you’re trying to hide?”

“No, I’m shameless.”

Joey sang “I Wanna Sex You Up.” Kady cackled and Alice snorted loudly.

*

“‘What say you to this proposition, Wilhorn?’”

Todd tapped his pencil on the table, his teeth pressed into his lip before he looked towards Josh. “You know what? I’m in. I say that to the ogre king.”

Eliot gasped. “Traitor.”

*

“Sorry, Kady. Asmodeus has lost the good fight.”

Kady smacked her glass against the table. “Well, shit.”

“What are you doing, Julia? Asmodeus just fell dead next to you.”

Julia pressed her lips together, eyes darting over her character sheet before she looked at Josh. “I break my oath.”

“Hell yes!” Quentin cried drunkenly.

“Sounds good!” Josh agreed. “You can now cast Hellish Rebuke and Inflict Wounds.”

“Definitely Inflict Wounds. I’m out for vengeance, baby.” Rolling one of her dice five times, she grinned. “That would be thirty-two damage on Wilhorn.”

“Oh, and he’s  _ down!”  _ Josh shouted and everyone at the table cheered loudly, including the traitorous Todd.

*

Quentin was placing the last of their glasses in the sink when Eliot entered the kitchen, embracing him from behind. “Did you have fun?”

“It was a blast, yeah.” He turned in Eliot’s arms. “You mentioned blowjobs earlier, though?”

“Well, Margo mentioned them, but I am more than happy to oblige.” His smile turned wicked. “Will you call me Vesper?”

Quentin smirked before raising his brows. “Definitely not. But I may call you something else if you play your cards right.”

He watched the realization hit Eliot like a hammer, his eyes widening dramatically. “So generous, and on your own birthday,” he breathed shakily. “Upstairs with you, then.”

They nearly took the stairs at a run.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
